Over the weekend, I traveled Northeast to visit with my dear Sass. I have always got other, pressing, urgent things to do. At any given time, I have six balls in the air; five kids, and one husband. Add to that the other important obligations like house, car, the two cats, that just became one, and my own self, it becomes a battle to keep things moving, and not have a splattered mess on the floor of my life. This is where the guilt comes in. How do I justify taking a weekend to visit my girlfriend, when so many other things need my attention? If I were a good mother, wife, pet owner homeowner, wouldn't I stay home, and attend to the necessities?
No, and I don't feel a bit guilty about taking time for me. Guilt, in my opinion, is a useless emotion. If something is wrong, will it help if I feel bad over it? But, I am getting off topic. At some point in the past 30 years, parenting became an exercise in self sacrifice. My mother had a full life, aside from raising me. She was a single woman, and she dated, and had marathon shopping trips with girlfriends, and even took vacations, WITHOUT me. My grandmother, and great-grandmother, and even my aunts, did too. I would also like to add that as a child, at family gatherings, I got to make my plate AFTER all the adults had taken their fill. I survived, as did all my cousins. So what happened to us? Why is it that the "best" moms are the ones who spend the most amount of time on their families, and the least on themselves?
My guess is that it became a way of making ourselves feel better by comparison. The moms who have to work, have to compensate to compete with the moms that stay home. The moms with less money, have to be creative to compete with the wealthier moms. Really?? Maybe it's from having so many, but I don't plan to compete with anyone but myself. If I am doing my best, then that is enough. It better be, because there is no one else in line to wipe the tears, and butts in my house.
Now, I will get to my point. (finally, right? ) I am a woman. Getting married, and giving birth, did nothing to change that. My husband fell in love with me, because I am fun, silly, crazy, and wild! HE did not fall in love with my birthing hips. (but my butt was probably a factor) He fell in love with ME! The thing is, a large part of what makes me, ME, is my time with my friends. So often, as women, we underestimate our worth. Friends remind us of Who we are, and What makes us spectacular. Because they are unhindered by the fear of losing us, or insulting us, our girls will tell us, like it is, and like we are.
So this past weekend, I drove away from my house, stressed, exhausted, and emotionally spent. I spent two days with one of my best friends, doing nothing much. We sat on the deck, we talked, we cried, we told ridiculous jokes, we watched movies, and we ate junk food.(so much junk food) We even passed out early trying to watch a sexy movie. (as I mentioned, five kids, I have been sexy a few times) Because I took time for myself, and spent it with a woman who replenishes my spirit, I returned home smiling, happy, missing my family, and ready to enjoy them again.
There is nothing wrong with taking time to be yourself, it never diminishes your worth to make an investment in yourself. I am so thankful that I have a group of friends with whom I can be ME. Just plain old, spicy Hot Pocket. I hope that you all have a Sass, or a Growler, or a Moonshine that makes you feel free, and real. I am so thankful that I do. (and Tank likes it when I come home happy too! ;)
No, and I don't feel a bit guilty about taking time for me. Guilt, in my opinion, is a useless emotion. If something is wrong, will it help if I feel bad over it? But, I am getting off topic. At some point in the past 30 years, parenting became an exercise in self sacrifice. My mother had a full life, aside from raising me. She was a single woman, and she dated, and had marathon shopping trips with girlfriends, and even took vacations, WITHOUT me. My grandmother, and great-grandmother, and even my aunts, did too. I would also like to add that as a child, at family gatherings, I got to make my plate AFTER all the adults had taken their fill. I survived, as did all my cousins. So what happened to us? Why is it that the "best" moms are the ones who spend the most amount of time on their families, and the least on themselves?
My guess is that it became a way of making ourselves feel better by comparison. The moms who have to work, have to compensate to compete with the moms that stay home. The moms with less money, have to be creative to compete with the wealthier moms. Really?? Maybe it's from having so many, but I don't plan to compete with anyone but myself. If I am doing my best, then that is enough. It better be, because there is no one else in line to wipe the tears, and butts in my house.
Now, I will get to my point. (finally, right? ) I am a woman. Getting married, and giving birth, did nothing to change that. My husband fell in love with me, because I am fun, silly, crazy, and wild! HE did not fall in love with my birthing hips. (but my butt was probably a factor) He fell in love with ME! The thing is, a large part of what makes me, ME, is my time with my friends. So often, as women, we underestimate our worth. Friends remind us of Who we are, and What makes us spectacular. Because they are unhindered by the fear of losing us, or insulting us, our girls will tell us, like it is, and like we are.
So this past weekend, I drove away from my house, stressed, exhausted, and emotionally spent. I spent two days with one of my best friends, doing nothing much. We sat on the deck, we talked, we cried, we told ridiculous jokes, we watched movies, and we ate junk food.(so much junk food) We even passed out early trying to watch a sexy movie. (as I mentioned, five kids, I have been sexy a few times) Because I took time for myself, and spent it with a woman who replenishes my spirit, I returned home smiling, happy, missing my family, and ready to enjoy them again.
There is nothing wrong with taking time to be yourself, it never diminishes your worth to make an investment in yourself. I am so thankful that I have a group of friends with whom I can be ME. Just plain old, spicy Hot Pocket. I hope that you all have a Sass, or a Growler, or a Moonshine that makes you feel free, and real. I am so thankful that I do. (and Tank likes it when I come home happy too! ;)
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