Listen here, young lady. All that matters is what makes you happy.

Since the night I first thought I was pregnant with my elder son—days before I found out I was actually, finally pregnant—I have wished on each first star I saw that night for happy, healthy babies.  When I pray, which isn't often, it always for happy, healthy babies. 

On the surface, this seems to be what every parent wants for their child, and we do everything we can to make that happen.  We carefully feed and clothe them.  We give them every opportunity we can to find the things that bring them joy.  We try to teach them right from wrong and that right will make them happy.

But happiness is a little overrated.  Don't get me wrong: to be happy feels spectacular.  And it is wonderful to be in a state of bliss, no matter that it is often fleeting and hard to attain.

The better goal, I think, is contentment.  It's that state of being pleased with yourself and your life and your place in it that is perhaps harder-earned but more lasting. 

And it's not learning to be content with what you have.  (While that's a laudable way to live your life, it is often an endeavor that can lead to so much more distress and internal conflict, especially in Western culture.)  I want most for my boys—and myself and my friends and the people I love most in the world—to have lives in which they are surrounded by the things that make them content. 

I don't mean the tangible things that pass the time.  I mean the ability to have a job or career or life path that is rewarding to them both emotionally and materially enough to pay for their sustenance and the exploration of their lives.  I want them to be so in love with someone other than me that they can be deeply, truly emotionally and physically vulnerable and that their hearts can find peace each day in that love.

From these things can come great happiness, and from these things can come great sorrow.  But if they are content in their lives, able to journey at their own pace rather than at the speed their circumstances demand, then they will be able to weather the storms of joy and heartache in the healthiest way possible:  by being true to themselves.