I've felt a bit turned on my head for a while. It seems like every time I say something is going to happen (or not), the absolute opposite occurs. Like a jinx. It's a little unnerving and makes me feel somehow untrustworthy, to myself and to other people. It makes me seem fickle, and I don't like it.
It's not intentional, certainly, and it's not that I'm making uneducated guesses. There's just this trend of relative juxtaposition; things just get turned around when I approach them. As soon as I set my sights, my target shifts. Like eyeing a dim star in an inky sky, it's gone if I look at it directly.
So I'm taking the time to move a bit more slowly, to think and maybe even overthink before I act or speak. I'm trying to find the voice that I can trust, the voice that can sing in the right key, even if it's a little shaky or so soft that others have to quiet themselves and strain to hear it.
Instead of facing life head on, I'll give it a sideways glance or two and track its brilliance from the corner of my eye. I may not be able to see it clearly for a while, but I know I can keep the proverbial shining prize in my sight and follow it up and around the bend where the air is clearer and so many stars will be waiting to be seen.
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