Several years ago, I first claimed my occupation as DOMESTIC PERSONALITY. You know, like a TV or radio personality, only in my own home—'cause in my house, I'm a star.
Some of that transferred over into my community when I started to devote more time to volunteer work over the last few years. I didn't do it for the accolades, of course, but everyone likes to be recognized for their talents and abilities. One thing I learned during the process is that recognition, of any kind really, can be its own reward, but it can also put a big target on your back. It doesn't always mean the approaching projectile is weaponry, but even commendation can be bruising and uncomfortable when it hits suddenly.
Celebrities get this all the time, of course. There are people who want to know them and be with them and be them; just as much as there are people who want to knock them down because they don't like the celebrated, in fact or in theory.
Here's the thing about celebrities: they're just fucking people, who happen to be known by a lot of other fucking people.
They may or may not be talented or nice or special in any way, other than the fact that they're well-known. Notoriety doesn't make them de facto "good people"; it simply means they've done whatever to have been recognized in a substantially public fashion.
Even if they are talented and nice and special in their specific way, they're still human. They eat, sleep, cry, love, get bored, have sex, do stupid shit things that hurt other people, and want to be left to their own, private devices from time to time. Certainly some celebrities are in professions that cater to their own internal drive to be notorious—acting, music, television, politics—but that doesn't make them any better or worse than anyone else.
I have real issues with fans who can see no wrong in their idols. They're your idols, so you obviously hold them in a higher regard than other people. I get that. You want to be like them or close to them; you want them to be attainable. But there's absolutely no reason to be anything but pragmatic about who and what they are. Unfortunately, you as the adulator may not be able to see them in anything but a rosy light. And that means you don't really know them, the person, at all.
It's the sycophants who really irritate me, the ones who admire and protect the objects of their fandom so doggedly that they are incapable of recognizing the humanity in the renowned. Celebrities have their secrets and lies and fallacies just like everyone else, and the existence of those stunning imperfections should never, ever be mitigated by their fame. If the distinguished make a mistake, it becomes new fashion. If the popular utter an ill-thought phrase, it must be the result of true enlightenment. If the illustrious are complete assholes, it must be okay to wipe up after their mistakes and pretend the floor is shinier than ever.
I make mistakes all the time. I make bad choices. In my house or out, I am a flawed, wanting, sometimes deficient person, who also happens to be the heart's desire of three amazing (grown and young) men, each in their own way. I am talented and loving and open, and I am selfish and exhausting and secretive. I am revered and admired for all that I do and don't. In my house, I'm a fucking star.
But even within the loving confines of this home, it doesn't mean I'm any better or more special than anyone else. I am ultimately a human being with the same basic needs and desires as everyone, including every single celebrity who flashes across my screen. So being a Domestic Personality may sound like a really great job, but all it really boils down to is just being Me.
Comments